Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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