I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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