i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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