i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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