the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize