i don't plan on having that self control this summer
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Randomize
