She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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