You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize