Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
if only i could text you this smell
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
How external is "for external use only"?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
