There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
