so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
