Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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