This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
