for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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