Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
