So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
