Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
