1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
