just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Found your dick twin last night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
