whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
