You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
