Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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