you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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