the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
