i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
