so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
