Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
