Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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