im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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