dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
