My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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