I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
