at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
