I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
