Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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