I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
