Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
