wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
