I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
