A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
