brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
