In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
