no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
