He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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