Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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