i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
