Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He's on the porch naked. Help.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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