oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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