We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
