Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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