VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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