oh god the rape fog is back!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
