I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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