i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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