Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
operation have a gay friend backfired
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
