My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
