So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
