"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize