Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
that's an acceptable place to lick
She announced her abortion via fbk
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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