New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
