I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
