barbara walters just said penis...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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