Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
