i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
