benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
