Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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