belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
