What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
