Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
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